On The Serious Side

It's February 18 today, and I'm happy. And it's a big deal.

With Daddy (beaming with pride, I believe!) on my wedding day (January 6, 2001).

You see, it's my Dad's birthday, and today I remember him with happiness in my heart, instead of sorrow and grief. This day is unlike the previous birthdays which had been punctuated by sadness and longing for the man who left us some four years ago. This day, I feel more alive than ever, and grateful that he had been a part of my life.

Had he been alive today, he would have been 69.

Whenever I am with Aya in Filipino gatherings, most of them would often inquire: "How old is she?" And after being told about her age, they would make the dreaded expected follow-up question: "So kelan nyo susundan? Wala pa ba kasunod? (So when's the next one? None yet?)"

 

Aya and her gummy grin at 11 weeks

 

Others are not so discreet and would unabashedly tell it to my face: "Sundan nyo na! (This would be literally translated, "Follow it up!" But perhaps "Make another one!" would be the more appropriate translation.)

 

Easier said than done, folks. We never said that we don't want more.

 

In those situations, I usually just whip up my standard response: "Yeah." "Uhm....?" "We're trying." "We'll wait and see."

 

You see, there's a bit of a story before our daughter was successfully conceived.

 

Hainan is known as the "Hawaii" of China. Haikou, also known as the Coconut City, is a major port of the island, and has a domestic airport for flights connecting to various major cities in China like Guangzhong and Beijing. As soon as I arrived at Haikou, the sights and scents welcomed me as if I was returning home. Really!

 

Quite interestingly, within my short stay of three days in that island, I was able to sample native "Filipino" dishes like adobo, lechon kawali, and even the intricate kare-kare. Of course there are also other dishes available, but those dishes caught my attention because of their familiar taste. Not exactly cooked the way we Filipinos cook them, but the resemblance is still striking. And if you're wondering if the said kare-kare dish was served with bagoong(shrimp paste), the answer is a resounding yes. However, as with the dishes, the bagoong was a bit different from the ones we have in the Philippines. It was not too salty, and even had a spicy tinge to it.

 

More than the food, though, was the fabulous opportunity to have a glimpse of the sea. I love the sea. Everyday, from the balcony of my room, I would stand outside and take in the breathtaking view before me.

Sunsets were spectacular. Here is a photo I took one afternoon:

 

Here is part two of the series.

Q: Did you have a chance to work as a research assistant?
Not as an RA, but as a graduate student. The only difference between an RA and a graduate student? The grad student does not get paid. The work is usually performed as part of the graduate thesis.

Q: Did you attend any special programs or schools that nurtured your interest in science?
The special science class in high school which I attended was the only one I could cite as one of those institutions that nurtured my interest in science.

I found this interesting article from the DOST website, entitled "The Making of a Scientist." It's interesting for me because 1) it featured Filipino scientists, and 2) the said scientists were all women, and 3) I personally know one of them. Dr. Maricor Soriano, one of our former colleagues when we were still at National Institute of Physics, also happens to be a very good personal friend of ours, and of course Baggy's former labmate at the Instrumentation Physics Lab.

 

Among other things, the article made me realize how important it is for scientists to let other people have a glimpse into what made them into what they are today. I realized that there may be someone out there who may even be inspired to take up science as a career.

 

It's not a dead end, nor just an exclusive path for the ultra-genius. I think some of you may still be harboring the notion that science is reserved for the highly intellectual but emotionless individuals. Those who care not for anything else except the noble pursuit of knowledge. Well, it may be true for some, but not for all. I know several Filipino scientists who came from humble beginnings, people just like you and me. They just took the path less traveled.

 

We never met in person.

 

Out of the blue, one day I got a friendly call from Ms. Tonette Binsol. I don't know how she got hold of my cellphone number. But someone like her had resources, and lots of connections. People connections. So it was not really surprising. Just the same, I was flattered that she knew me at all.

 

The call, as it turned out, was made in order to convey her request for me to remove the link to an interview article featuring her at Philippines Today. Of course, I asked her why.

I've already written about what it feels like to be a mom. I've also shared some of my thoughts and experiences as a scientist. But I have not written much about what it feels like to be all at the same time - woman, mom, scientist. And for good reason: it's a lonely road. Not everyone can relate to my experience. In my circle of friends, I could always find someone who is a mom, or a scientist, but to find both at the same time - it's like finding a needle in a haystack.

I've taken to reading several books and literature on women and their participation in science. And the statistics are disheartening. Experts describe the situation as a leaky pipeline: women "leak" out of the pipeline at every stage, beginning from students up to higher positions. Women describe their situation as akin to hitting a glass ceiling - a proverbial ceiling that prevents their ascension to the top. Thus, even if there would be a high percentage of women entering the scientific field at the very early stages of their career, only very few persistent ones manage to wiggle their way to higher positions. Understandably this is a reason for concern: how long would it be until I hit my own glass ceiling?

I now ask you to close your eyes and picture in your mind a scientist working in the lab. What is the image that first comes to your mind?

Have you ever applied for renewal of your passport? How about having it amended from your single name to your married name? Was it as simple as 1-2-3?

Because I live in Tsukuba, I am under the jurisdiction of the Philippine Embassy in Tokyo. Here, we can apply for passport renewal by mail. Yep, no need to appear in person at the Embassy. Hurray. All we have to do is submit our application by mail, and as long as our documents are complete and in order, we can expect our new passports to be delivered through the post office or takkyubin. As simple as that.

However, what I had expected to be a simple process could get pretty complicated sometimes. Read my "tales" below and judge for yourself. Pray, tell, was I amiss?

Dear Daddy,
Alam mo kagabi napanaginipan kita. Wala ka raw sakit. At kung sa anong dahilan, ang saya-saya mo raw. Nagluto ka pa nga. Hindi ko lang maalala kung saang bahay ba tayo nandon, pero parang bahay ata natin. Bahay natin. Yung bahay na matagal nating inaasam-asam. Hindi bahay ng ibang tao. Yung sa atin talaga. Yung kusina raw natin ay bagong gawa pa nga, at ang linis-linis pa ng mga tiles. Pero parang hindi ka raw masaya don sa tiles, kaya sinimentohan mo pa raw ng panibago. Pagkatapos mong gawin yun, mukhang hindi ka pa raw napagod. Inakap mo raw ako tapos inikot-ikot - parang twirl ba, yung ginagawa natin sa mga bata. Nagulat ako kasi ang lakas-lakas mo raw, eh kahit na mas mabigat ako at mas malaki kesa sa 'yo kaya mo raw gawin yun.

Nagulat na lang ako bigla nong mag-alarm na. Sobrang bitin ako. Ang dami ko pa naman sanang gustong sabihin sa yo. Kaya naisip ko na dito na lang isulat.

Just in time for Valentine's day, I was amused to find a special report published in Nature, entitled: Scientists in love: When two worlds collide. Inspite of the work I have to do, I found myself dropping everything else, and read this article twice. The reason? Because this article resonates with my own experience - or rather, our experience as a couple working in the scientific field. Like the scientist couples featured in that article, we too had to contend with certain problems at the start of our marriage, the two-body problem being at the forefront of it all. In physics, the two-body problem pertains to the calculation of paths of two objects in orbit with each other. For couples whose careers are in science, this refers to the problem of finding work not just for yourself but also for your spouse. This is a problem for most women scientists because a higher percentage of them are married to scientists like themselves.